Romantic Love A

Why do people fall in love? Why do people fall out of love? These are questions that have been asked for as long as people have fallen in love. We fall in love because there is a need for what our partner provides.

Love is a symbiotic relationship that goes to our core. There are marked differences between the sexes that need to be openly stated and discussed. Males and females each follow different paths of ego development.

The book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” touches upon these striking differences. We each create what the other craves and needs. Most of us dream of a soul mate relationship with a partner ideally suited for us, someone that would complete us in all ways. Just about everyone would like that experience.

To aspire to this type of romantic love relationship is one of the most selfish things possible. Such a relationship would contain only two people and leave out the rest of the world wouldn’t it?

At least that is the fear of many people when they see two lovers caught up in each other. Friends, family and job often suffer and take a lower priority and importance than the romantic partner. The collective suffers.

To become too involved in love threatens the social structure and the survival of the community. We don’t have time any more for our friends.

Our society and culture actively encourage us to think of others, to think of national interests, our political party, favorite charity, job and community. Society and culture are constantly trying to find new ways to separate us from our romantic partner. It is not surprising so few romantic love relationships ever last.

There are so many powerful forces in each of our lives working against it from the very start. We are taught being selfish is wrong and this is the fundamental point we must come to terms with if we ever want romantic love and have it last.

Being selfish and wanting love and a romantic partner is a good thing and not a bad thing. Society and community will benefit from romantic love relationships. Family is at least as important as the security of our nation. Should we deny ourselves happiness in life and suffer for other people or should we live for our own happiness and share that happiness with those around us? To experience romantic love we live for our own happiness and follow a course of action that will find us an appropriate partner.

What is it that makes romantic love so special? Why do we feel alive and vibrant when we are with the person that we love? Why does that person make us feel complete?

It is this feeling of completeness that really defines romantic love. In this feeling of completeness we feel that we have a self. This feeling of completeness makes us feel like a person, like an individual. We feel complete and it feels good! We feel important and loved as much as we love. We also feel all we need is the love of our partner and that is the danger.

Most of us have experienced that intense emotional experience called “puppy love”. This is a soul level experience and involves our capacity for love. In “puppy love” we have a giant crush on somebody and give all of ourself to this person gladly and willingly. We expect that same intensity of love in return and when it is not returned we are no longer as young and innocent as we were before.

From this point on we earn the love and respect of any potential romantic partner and it is not an easy road to follow. To find love we first find self esteem and learn to love our own self.

Love and respect exist on every level. We develop the capacity for self esteem and love with our entire being. The only way to do this is to find someone to interact with us and teach us. This means we can be attracted to someone spiritually, mentally,emotionally, sexually or physically. Each type of love relationship is valid and causes our souls to grow as we share with this other person.

Somehow we find a teacher for each type of energy, someone of the opposite sex that will teach us the mysteries of that energy, someone that will give us experience that we need. At the same time we are teaching them and giving them experiences they need to become complete. We use each other to become complete.

It is very rare that one person will be able to teach us and develop us in each of the energies. It is more probable that we fall in love at different times with different people and learn the lessons they each have to teach us. We in turn will be helping them to learn and develop in a mutual relationship of growth and development. These relationships end when our capacity for self-esteem and love has been established and we are ready to move on to other areas. We have become complete in that area and don’t need them anymore. This defines a co-dependent relationship fairly well.

 

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